All time, desert island, totally biased: Top Five Summer Songs

First of all, a minor threat: anyone who fucking dares to mention, link or play the Buena Vista Social Club cover of Clocks in relation to this blogpost will die, and not just because it's summer time. I hate that song, and homicide definately is an option under any Chris Martin related circumstances.

I'm serious, mofo.

Then, you know what ? Any Top Five of Summer Songs is bloody bollocks at the moment. The weather we're having right now would be considered shitty had it been October, and it's July. We don't need no mariachi's and mojitos. Lord, buy me a Mercedes Benz, some Joy Division and a fine chunk of crystal meth. And please, no more boleros.

For some reason, summer hits always need to feature either conga's, horns or guitars and an assorti selection of latino's: I'm talking La Bamba, or Tequila. Suavemente, Miami Sound Machine and Kaoma. Which is fine. Bill Murray can mix me a Martini whenever I hear Hot! Hot! Hot!, my top 5 however is gonna go beyond the Fucking Obvious.

But it's hard not to get lost on the digital highway to a sunny beach. Summer songs are Maria. It's Tequila Sunrise and girls with their nipples barely covered. (Though, his nipples aren't exactly covered either.) Summer equals hot latin lovers, bad wigs and ketchup. Get busy, y'all. By the way, who let the dogs out ?

But, never mind the Baileys, here's my Top Five.

Kylie Minogue - Slow
Oasis - Supersonic
Prince - Kiss
Amy Winehouse - Fuck Me Pumps
Mohammed Rafi - Jan Pehechan Ho

And then, to leave you on a positive note, here's a nice summer-inspired joke:

One raindrop to the other: "It's quite wet, isn't it ?"
Other raindrop: "Fucking hell, it's a talking raindrop !"